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keep your friends close but your enemies closer

“friends” at work are not always as they seem

Is your job search or career advancement being hindered by the very people you call your friends?

Although it may be disheartening to admit it, the answer may be “yes.”

While most of us consider our friends advocates and allies, it is important to consider that not everyone is the same person once you leave the room.

You likely have one or two pseudo-friends who want you to fail or at the very least don’t want you to succeed. Some just don’t want you to do better than them and a few may relish in your failure as it makes them feel better about their own shortcomings.

keep your friends close and enemies closer -Sun tzu

Even well meaning friends can drag you down. People tend to judge you by your social clique. You should of course, surround yourself and associate with those you enjoy being with, but  it  is important to  balance personal and professional carefully if you are trying to advance in your career.

beware

at least you know where you stand with enemies

Don’t leave anything to chance-Take the time to properly vet and assess friends and colleagues to minimize any detrimental impact.

Identifying fake or unhealthy friends  isn’t always easy. Here are some signs that, at the very least, should give you a pause for concern:

  1. They make promises but don’t come through. Let’s face it, talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words
  2. Chronic complainers or naysayers. They like to complain but without solutions. At the very least their negative thought patterns will drag you down.
  3. They lack empathy. Simply put, if  they can’t  or won’t sympathize with you. It’s a pathological sign and a signal to run.
  4. Constantly needy people . At best they are a time-sink adding unnecessary drama.
  5. Exaggerators.Fibbers Liars. Enough said. They are prominent in toxic work environments
  6. Self Aggrandizers People who inflate themselves  may have the tendency to minimize others, you included. It’s always about them.
  7. Lazy People.. No matter how industrious you are, you’ll be typecast as a slacker and it won’t help your career. Your brand is at stake

    Your brand is at stake

    Lazy friends can bring you down. Limit your exposure

  8. Gossipers. this is a red flag. If they’re constantly talking about other people, think what they’re saying behind your back.
  9. They always ask questions but never offer anything.  People who take without giving are not friends, they are users
  10. Angry People. Some people are perpetually angry and can be lumped with complainers but are even more venomous.
  11. They don’t take ownership or never seem to be at fault. Eventually they will pin something on you
  12. The jealous envier. They often can’t look you in the eye. They have a fake smile and they relish the opportunity to take  you down. Pay close attention to the cues This can be the most damaging lot of the bunch.

Time to move on.

not all of your friends have your best interest in mind

Maybe it’s time to make some changes

It can be difficult to let go of familiar faces but if  your friends are holding you back, they aren’t true friends they are liabilities.Cut ties with those  who don’t have your back or are wasting your time. At the very least,  while you  are at critical career junctures, you’ll want to limit your exposure to anyone who doesn’t have your best interest in mind.Surrounding  yourself with positive people, especially those you can learn from is they key not only to career advancement but to general life happiness.  You owe it to yourself . Keeping the right people in your life will set the stage for this